Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Back from the Dead!

I'm normally a pretty active person. I love to entertain, and we're always out doing something. We love to take walks, go to the park, go fishing, hiking, jogging, or on a picnic. Graduation week was pretty hectic. I had a few essays, quizzes and a final exam to finish, and I had lots of people coming to visit. I also had an after-graduation open house to plan and at the same time I was trying to deal with Anna and Chandler's medical issues. I felt great through it all. But the day after it was all over and everybody went home, the MS crept in.
This happens quite often with stress. My body seems to be in survival mode and holds up great during the stress. But when the stress is gone, my body seems to shut down. The relapse lasted about two weeks...two very long weeks. I was very dizzy, fatigued, and in a lot of pain. The dizziness is horrible, the pain is no fun, but the fatigue is what makes life excruciatingly difficult. When I'm going through one of those times, I have to ration my energy and be very careful not to over-exert myself. My house suffers, and my kids suffer because mommy just doesn't have the energy to do much, besides the necesseties. Jake suffers because he has to pick up the slack where I simply can't. The poor guy comes home from work, does the laundry, cleans the kitchen, puts the kids to bed, etc. Watching the way that the relapse affects everyone around me is the most difficult part of it all. I might work up the energy to make dinner, but by the end of it, I'm exhausted and don't have the energy to clean it up. I might have the energy to take a shower, but don't have the energy to put cute clothes on, and do my makeup and hair. I have the energy to keep my kids fed, bathed, and clothed, but don't have as much energy to do all the fun things that we normally do. It's incredibly depressing to feel like I'm failing at all of my responsibilities. Jake never, ever complains and only has words of love and encouragement, but I know that doing my job and his is exhausting for him.
Anyway, I woke up one morning last week and I wasn't dizzy anymore!!! But even more exciting, I had my energy back! I was so excited I felt like I was back from the dead! Finally, I had the energy to do my hair and makeup, get the kids bathed and dressed, get my house clean again, and take the kids for a walk and to the park. I took it slow for the first few days because I didn't want to go back to the way I was. But, by now, I'm back to jogging and feeling great. I am so thankful. Having this disease certainly helps me to appreciate the good days. And most days are good.


  1. Gosh, Toby, I'm like that after company comes and I have nothing like your excuse! I am so glad that you are feeling better. Take care. Love you.

  2. i agree with the other person's comments. i dont know how you do it. i have energy and health and still i dont do half of the stuff that you mentioned! love ya

  3. oops, i posted under josch's account.